So We had the Swine Flu

Or ... I'm sayin' we had the swine flu. Because I am NOT taking myself or my children to the doctor's office when we don't need medical care, just to make the statisticians happy.  We had the symptoms, I'm calling it that, we're good. 

It was WEIRD.

The first thing... I didn't feel "sick" until the end.  I didn't ever feel like I had a cold/flu.  No rolling about in bed with a high fever, no sneezing, no stuffy head.  Nope.  No sore throat, just a couple days of coughing.  I didn't bother to medicate anything minus a little benadryl, zyrtec and one night of nyquil (for two weeks of sick).

The first signs were the headaches.  I almost never have a headache, so that was a flag.  Next up were the tireds, and chills.  Next was odd body aches.  Usually flu aches are your upper back, or your chest or neck, right?  Nope... this time it was everywhere.  Every odd muscle that you used would hurt - I had leg *cramps* from curling up on the couch.  I got a knot from hand-sewing for half an hour.

Those tireds they tell you about?  Yeahhhh... I got lightheaded, dizzy and unable to function from... sitting at my sewing machine trying to hem a curtain.  I'd want a rest after a phone conversation, and I kept them short, because they tired me.

This is a flu that ticks you right OFF.  Because you feel not-terrible, unless you try to do something.  And you hurt.  BFF says her *skin* hurts.  I believe her!  It hangs on, too.  So you feel like that last day of sick-time... for a week.

I actually started feeling *better* after I finally spiked a fever (instead of those dang chills) and my nose got into gear and did the runny/sneezy thing.

It seems to hang on and on and try to come back, I'm absolutely sure it's still in my system, I'm still a lot more easily achy than usual.

My 5yo got it - she had that 101 fever, she had one *really* drippy night and a few days of coughs, and she was done.   DH had a couple of days off due to the flu, he's mostly had the tireds and a bit of the chills/low fever.  9yo had the chills and some aches for just a day.  So it's VERY different person to person.

So... that's what it's like.  TIRED.  ACHY.  CHILLED.  But "I'm sick"... no, not so much.  H1N1 - the flu that was vague.

Hope this is useful for someone!

Getting better I think

I really hate being sick.

I don’t mind so much when I’m properly sick, the sick where you’re roiling in your sheets, soaked with sweat and miserable.  At least then you feel you’ve earned your time in bed.  But when you’re barely ill, just exhausted and endlessly tipping into a low fever… that gets old.

I’ve been sick for about ten days now, most of which has been in the “barely sick” mode.  Heavens, I’ve only started sneezing in the last four.  (Yeah, it’s H1N1 – they aren’t kidding about the aches, tireds or lack of sinus stuff).  Just sick enough to be useless.  I was so out of it for days that sewing curtains would make me dizzy… yet never threw a proper fever.  Bah.

I threw one last night, and though I’ve been coughing and whatnot today, I feel better than I have for DAYS.  Hooray! 

One of the big things that drives me kerbonkers when I’m sick is that I can’t do the things for DH that I normally do.  Coffee and cuddles lunches and clothes, they all go out the window.  He’s been pulling up my side of the boat again, and that makes me irritable.  At him, how preposterous… since what I’m irritable about is that I can’t be nicer to him!

I’m sure it’s very good for his character, practicing loving the weaker half and all that… but I want to be a helpmeet, not just a lump! 

So, today I finally made that pumpkin soup (came out splendidly if I do say so myself, which I have to, since everyone else had sushi for dinner).  Didn’t do too much else of use, but hopefully I can be well enough tomorrow to start making inroads on catchup.  J

And I guess that’s all for now, folks.

“You’re wrong” is not an insult.

“You’re wrong” is not an insult.

“You lie” is an insult.

If I say to you, “I believe that you’re wrong about this, and I believe the consequences of your being wrong are pretty heavy and I don’t want to see you suffer loss” why would you get upset at me?

Why wouldn’t I expect you to do the same for me?

Wouldn’t you stop me, if my child wasn’t buckled into a car seat?  Wouldn’t you stop me, if I wanted to drive drunk?  Wouldn’t you say, “heyyy are you sure you want to do that” if I was about to eat something that had just been sprayed with pesticides an hour ago?

Wouldn’t you?

Sadly I don’t think most people would nowadays.  Because it’s cool now to be a liar.  Or at least it’s not uncool.  You can deceive people all the day long, it’s fine.  But tell them that they’re wrong about something?  Oh, very bad. 

People think that if I say “You’re wrong” I mean “You’re stupid”.  But… what if I just mean, “You’re wrong”.  “You’re operating without complete data.”  “That ledge isn’t stable!”  How is “I have information that you do not” an insult?  Everyone has information that someone else doesn’t have.   You have information that I do not.

And when did we lose the ability to argue politely?  The ability to assume that the person with whom we are arguing is another rational being, and to treat them as the same, even if we think they’re making the most foolish decision that they ever could?  We manage the latter all the time, “What-EVER” but what happened to trying to convince them to change course until it was irrevocable?

I am hardly a debate champion.  I reek at debate, quite frankly.  But I invite people to ask me questions, to challenge me.  I can’t take on the world, I frankly can’t even do debate in person in real-time.  And yet, most folks won’t.  They won’t sit down and write me an email, telling me that I’m a crazy person.  Why not?

I don’t get it.

If you think that I am wrong, correct me.  Respect me by arguing with me, presenting your points and change my mind. 

Or are you afraid that I might do the same… to you?

I want to be special

I want to be SPECIAL

I want to be DIFFERENT

I want to be sparkly and interesting and have all of you sit at my feet and love me.

How many reading this blog can agree with the above?  I wrote 'em, I agree with them.  But - I don't necessarily think that those desires are healthy desires in the way that they usually present themselves.  I believe that they're twisted from the true desire to be the best at what one is made for.

I am NOT good at a lot of things.

I'm very bad at expressing anything controversial.  I'm very bad at expressing myself briefly at all - I'm obsessed with getting in every last detail and caveat. 

I'm not especially good with my hands. 

I'm not strong or fast.  I am horrific at sports.  My hand-eye coordination is shameful, my reaction time is worse.

I can't parallel park in between cars.  (I can do a textbook job without cars).  I'm not exactly a great parker, period.   I drive better alone.  (I do like driving, just not in traffic).

I'm not particularly patient, although I'm an excellent waiter if you tell me how long I'll be waiting.

I'm not a good teacher of ... anything really.

I talk over people. (why don't y'all whack me?)

I am as flexible as a log.  A nice dry one, ready for the fireplace.  I've made yoga teachers wince.

I'm not a particularly hard worker - I like to get my job done so I can go do what *I* want, so I do work hard & fast, but hard & long? No.

I'm a good friend but bad at making friends.

I can't interview.  Really.  I'm beyond bad at interviews.

And... somehow God made me for something anyway.  Most days I can't figure out what He'd have made a failure like ME for.  But then a wisp of usefulness will pass my way and I'll feel all warm and peaceful and happy.

And that's special.

Because I'm made different from everyone else.  It's not about ME, though.  I wasn't made for my happiness, my glory, my opinions about what's best.  I was made to fit into God's plan.  A tiny little cog.  I'm needed.  I don't know why or how or mostly for what... but I do know that I'm needed, and special.  Oh, HE doesn't need me... but maybe you do.  Or maybe you don't.  But someone does, some plan is going forward because of me.  That's special.

I'm never ever going to feel sparkly special this side of Heaven, but I know that there I'll wear a crown.  I don't know WHY, fershure.  But I am told that I will. 

So I'll just keep plodding along, being a little cog who tends to forget to mail things... It's okay to be me.

Sick

I *think* we are down with a mild version of H1N1.  I would *like* to be down with that, because then we have the antibodies.  (Or as someone I know pointed out, we have the current set of antibodies until things morph).

Aches.  Massive major mondo aches, at least for me.  Dizziness/lightheadedness.  Mild runny nose, 5yo is coughing up a storm (but she gets bad coughs).  Low grade fever/chills and exhaustion.  9yo was chilled this morning, claimed to be achy, so he's staying home today too.  I might have sent 5yo to school, if it were a regular school day, but her class is going on a field trip and won't be back until almost three hours after their regular end time, plus it's in another city... naw.  Not going there.   They'll probably snort about wanting a doctor's note for her tomorrow when she goes back, but they can bite me. I am not in the mood to be penalized for having good sense and following their guidelines.  She doesn't need the doctor, she needs to stay home and rest.

I was going to write about something else, I'm pretty sure... but I'm losing track and getting tired... so off I go to another cup of tea and bed.